That Time Zac Efron & Zendaya Taught Us an Invaluable Lesson on Marriage
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I went to go see The Greatest Showman in the movie theaters twice. For a homeschooling mom of four, with kids ranging from one to five, that is no small feat. But the foot-tapping original music, themes of American ingenuity and self-love, and timeless love stories drew me in. I was mostly mesmerized by the love story of Phillip Carlyle (Zac Efron) and Anne Wheeler (Zendaya).
It’s an old-school love story and isn’t bogged down by an overemphasis on sex and infatuation. There are zero—count ‘em ZERO—sex scenes in the entire film (Granted, it helps that it's set in the 18th Century). Despite the lack of physicality in the film, somehow the tension between the pair are the most tangible I've seen on the big screen in a while, exposing the lie that our sexuality is limited to the physical. There is a spiritual and emotional connection that a good love story requires to make the physical touch all the more meaningful.
Carlisle and Anne also showed us that perseverance builds a relationship, not an effortless, automatic “click” of personalities (a.k.a. the "soul-mate" BS; Church sub-culture translation: "God's will"). They pushed through societal boundaries of race and class, and an accident that almost took one of their lives.
But it's funny that despite the flawless love story that the two characters shared in the film, what touched me most about Zac and Zendaya came from the off-screen process of putting together one of the most moving musical numbers in the whole film, "Rewrite the Stars."
“Zac and I have really become a team. We’re literally tied together up in the air, so we have to have the trust and the connection,” said Zendaya in an interview.
Director Michael Gracey says the signature move (in which the pair fly towards one other, grab and then spin) had a less-than-graceful recording process behind it.
“There are some very famous outtakes of them swinging and just slamming, and just hanging limp [...] It looks incredibly painful. And they just go again. And go again.”
Here's how Zac described the process:
"We didn't really know what we were in for. We knew how the song started, but we didn't really know what was gonna happen, so we sort of just went into the space and explored. There was rehearsal for the aerial bits, but we didn't know what we were singing [with each dance move]. But we got to put them all together--all the acting, and the dancing together at once--kinda happened on the spot."
Marriage does not come with the luxury of knowing exactly how things will play out in life. It’s an unconditional promise to a person and not the prospect of happiness at every turn.
Sacred Marriage author Gary Thomas put it this way:
What if God didn’t design marriage to be "easier”? What if God had an end in mind that went beyond our happiness, our comfort and our desire to be infatuated and happy as if the world were a perfect place? What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?
How many times in a relationship or marriage are we get tempted to jump ship or at least clam up emotionally when our partner hurts or disappoints us? Our passion for “justice” and winning an argument overshadows our vow to do life alongside this person no matter what.
When we feel misunderstood, we tend to view our spouse or partner as our enemy, but we need to realize that there is a very real spiritual enemy who’s life purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. Are we going to let him?
As I've written before, Love is a climb, not a fall.
A pet peeve I have is when young people my age (or younger) post some meme about an elderly couple who have been together for 50+ years with some version of #relationshipgoals. There is nothing wrong with aspiring to that. My issue is that most likely, if we took the time to dig deeper into said elderly couples’ love stories, it would reveal that they had been through a crucible of some kind during their life together. However, it is these difficulties, and not the lack of them, that has enabled them to form the deep bond we all yearn for.
These elderly couples are able to enjoy the peace and joy of a lifelong companion at the end of their lives because they did the hard work in earlier seasons of their marriage.
What choices are we making NOW in our relationships that will lead us to that destination? It’s definitely not the mindset that quits at the first sign of hardship.
Director Michael Gracey, Zac and Zendaya, had a vision in mind for what the musical number could be, and after pushing through the obstacles, they created a powerful, final product that will continue to haunt viewers for years to come.
