If you are the one hurting on Mother’s Day, just know that, even if it feels like no one else sees you, God does. He intimately knows you and your pain, and He loves you.
Read MoreBy Marilette Sanchez
warner bros.
These days, “biblical womanhood” has become a buzzword and usually weighed down with less-than-positive connotations. It has come to be associated with the subjugation of women and the lack of women leadership in faith communities. It’s something I’ve been pondering as Woman’s History Month comes to a close this year.
In the summer of 2017, I had a blog post go viral. The title? “Wonder Woman Might Be the Most Accurate On-Screen Portrayal of Biblical Womanhood, and Here’s Why”. The article was a movie review about one of the biggest films that year, Patty Jenkins’ Wonder Woman starring Gal Gadot. I often wonder if I could have gotten away with that title today. I guess we’ll never know.
Soon after I published the post, Christian thinkers I admire like Jefferson Bethke and Liquid Church Pastor Tim Lucas came behind me in support of what I wrote, and I have to admit, it felt pretty darn good. Hundreds of women came flocking to the comments to tell me how I put to words how they felt as they watched the film, or that they were ready to dismiss the movie altogether–until they came across my article.
Unfortunately, harsh critics came out of the woodwork, too. My comments section was a cesspool of misogynistic comments, defended by out-of-context Bible verses. Several blog posts and YouTube videos directly rebutted mine, explaining how I read unwarranted biblical meaning into shallow pop culture or how I was purposefully leading people astray by promoting a heroine that was inspired by Greek mythology.
The attention garnered by the article—for good or ill—reflected the fact that I had struck a chord. It proved that there is an audience out there thirsty for God’s truth, especially regarding what exactly it means to be a woman. With that, I submit to you these three principles about womanhood that I gleaned from Wonder Woman.
1. God views women as strong warriors, not sidekicks or afterthoughts.
The creator of the Wonder Woman comic, William Marston, once wrote: “Not even girls want to be girls so long as our feminine archetype lacks force, strength, and power. … The obvious remedy is to create a feminine character with all the strength of Superman plus all the allure of a good and beautiful woman.” Now, exactly what did Marston mean by “beautiful”? That’s up for debate. The point is that Marston believes in the complex and multifaceted nature of women, a characteristic that should be highlighted more than it usually is by our culture.
Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) is not your typical one-dimensional action heroine. Yes, she spins mid-air, dives off cliffs, and slashes enemies as efficiently as any other superhero. No, she isn’t thoughtlessly murdering people in her leather lingerie and stilettos.
Wonder Woman is the first superhero to be fully equipped in combat skill, yet purely motivated by love and not vengeance (or some other version of a complicated, bitter backstory).
warner bros.
God views women as strong warriors, not sidekicks or afterthoughts.
I will never forget a talk my colleague, Suzy Silk gave at a women’s conference called the Hope Gathering, in which she highlighted how military language was consistently used in key biblical passages describing the identity of women. In Genesis 2:18, God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” The Hebrew words used for “helper suitable” are “ezer kenegdo.” The word “ezer” is a military term used 21 times in the Old Testament—twice to describe Eve and three times to describe Israel in her alliances with other nations. The remaining 16 times that the word appears in the Old Testament, God uses the word “ezer” to describe himself. (For my fellow Bible nerds, here are all the verse references where you can find the word “ezer.”) God describes himself as “ezer” during the times in war when Israel is about to lose. The Psalmist refers to God as “ezer” when he says, “I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”
Did you catch that? God names Eve “ezer” and then he consistently applies the same name to himself. God is the aid, the strong help in desperate situations, and we women were created to follow suit.
The same theme is picked up in Proverbs 31, which describes a “noble woman.” This passage is the only time in the Old Testament in which the Hebrew word “chayil” is translated “noble” because it refers to a woman. Every other time that the word appears, it has to do with soldiers and is closer to the word “valiant.” David’s mighty men? They were “men of valor.”
As Suzy Silk points out, however, military language permeates Proverbs 31: “The word for the ‘buying’ means ‘she hunts out prey and she brings it back.' It’s a hunting term. And when it says that ‘she puts on clothes,’ it’s actually, ‘she girds her loins with strength.’ There’s so much military language in that passage.” Say it with me everyone, #MINDBLOWN.
I shocked myself when I started to bawl like a baby during a key battle scene in Wonder Woman. After years of studying the word “ezer,” I couldn’t help but get emotional at the sight of a woman actually embodying it on screen. Note that it wasn’t that Wonder Woman had some heartfelt speech before the battle. It was literally the act of her fighting that turned on the waterworks.
2. Our emotional vulnerability as women is our strength, not our weakness.
Wonder Woman director Patty Jenkins has said, “The greatest thing about Wonder Woman is how good and kind and loving she is, yet none of that negates any of her power.”
As a woman in general, and an artist in particular, I am very much in touch with my emotions. It helps in terms of putting myself in others’ shoes and being sensitive to those around me. But there are times when I can get carried away by my emotions and feel hurt or disappointment more deeply, than, say, my husband Moses would. And it is not uncommon that I will start to resent my emotions altogether.
There are several moments in the film in which Diana is hopeful and emotional to the point of being naive. But Wonder Woman’s compassion is arguably her greatest superpower. She genuinely loves people and enjoys life. She is an optimist, and her supreme values are hope and love, despite the evil she witnesses. This tenderness is definitely a quality lacking in most of her other Marvel and DC comics counterparts (except maybe Captain America).
warner bros.
In The Privilege of Being a Woman, Christian philosopher Alice von Hildebrand writes, “Tears are the proper response to brutality, injustice, cruelty, blasphemy, hatred. Christ wept when he saw Jerusalem, and when he came to Lazarus’s tomb.” If Jesus is our example of what it means to be fully human and fully pleasing to God, there is no shame in our sensitivity if even Jesus wept.
As von Hildebrand writes, women are called to “purify [our] God-given sensitivity and to direct it into the proper channels. [We] should fight against maudlin tears and pray for holy tears—tears of love, of gratitude, of contrition.”
Diana is never paralyzed by her emotions, nor does she resent them. Instead, she uses them as a catalyst to take action and to defend the weak and innocent. What a reminder for me that my sensitivity enables me to glean more insight about the human condition, enabling me to become a better writer. Not to mention, without my emotions, I wouldn’t be able to empathize as easily with others, nor could I pray on behalf of others as deeply and specifically as I currently do.
3. When we women stand firm in our God-given identity and calling, instead of heeding others’ artificial labels, we can change the world.
As soon as Diana leaves her utopian home of Themyscira, she collides with the hard-hitting reality of the bleakness of the real world, especially World War I. Her idealism seems out of place here, and everywhere she goes, she hears “No.” Back home, her mother, motivated by fear, tells her she is not ready. On the way to the front lines, every man she meets tells her “no.” No, you cannot enter the war room. No, you can’t fight Ares. No, you can’t carry your sword on the street.
During the turning point of the movie, she is ready and willing to help, but once again hears “no.” Far from dimming the light in her eyes, this final “no” only succeeds in kindling a fire. Here, her mission becomes her own and she is no longer bound by others’ limitations or expectations. She can be exactly who she was created to be.
I am so guilty of letting others dictate who I will be, instead of listening to the one opinion that matters: God’s. To make matters worse, all the voices competing for my attention contradict each other.
As a first-generation Filipino immigrant, I’m told to follow my career and take advantage of all the opportunities here in America. (“But don’t forget to do all the housework.”) As a woman steeped in traditional American Christian culture, I need to be my husband’s helpmate and have a Pinterest-worthy menu plan and home decor. And, “Remember, being a mom is your highest calling.”
These are all well-intentioned notions, but when I am pulled in different directions by others’ expectations or even my own self-imposed pressure, how do I know the “right” way to live my life?
I love how Tampa-based Christian hip-hop artist KB put it in his song “No Chains”. The entire song is an ode to how he doesn’t fit into any molds either politically, theologically or musically. But he’s figured out the freedom found on the other side of refusing to let others’ expectations of him stifle who he was created to be.
That's liberal that's conservative /
That's charismatic and reformed too /
My wife happy and Jesus love me ain't nothing left to conform to
Sometimes, I think I need a similar reminder of the freedom available to me as a woman. When I’m tempted to lean into the artificial labels placed on me by others and myself, I try to remind myself of these things:
God has called me to use my writing and speaking gifts and passion for God’s Word to make plain biblical truths, especially to fellow women.
God has called me to be a loving wife to my husband Moses and a be-all-there mom to my kids. Everything else is pretty much optional.
Lots of other things will be vying for my attention on a daily basis. How do I know when I’m doing what God is calling me to do? More often than not, I feel like all I’m doing all day is disappointing one person or another.
As I continue to mentor women in my full-time ministry gig with FamilyLife in New York City, reach an audience through my online platforms and raise my three young daughters, I have a passion to help them sort out all the competing voices dictating to women what we should and shouldn’t be. Because we women are so multi-faceted, and every season of life looks different, none of us will ever fit a mold. And that’s ok. Life is full of difficult, but God-ordained interruptions, but the only thing we can do is to be sensitive enough to the Holy Spirit to discern what we are called to do moment by moment.
Author Ruth Haley Barton puts it this way in her book Invitation to Retreat. She discusses the importance for each believer to have a “rule of life”, which are patterns of attitudes, practices, and behaviors we commit to with the purpose of keeping us open to the transforming presence of Christ. To that end, she encourages her readers to ask themselves this question:
How do I want to live so I can be the person God created me to be and knows me to be—which is, in the end, who I want to be?
What Actress Gal Gadot says about her character can be true for all of us women: “She can be sensitive and the greatest warrior ever. And strong and confused. She can be all of the above in a beautiful way.”
warner bros.
Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie’s Barbie movie was the most inspirational blockbuster for me since ‘Wonder Woman’. There, I said it.
Yes, I am a follower of Jesus. Yes, I believe in the beauty of marriage and the significance of motherhood. No, I don’t agree with every single aspect of the film.
Borrowing a concept from Andy Crouch in his book Culture Making, as a Christian, it’s easy to arrogantly condemn culture, quickly copy culture, or mindlessly consume culture, but my hope here is to bring a dialogue around the issues that the film attempts to address. If you want to see Barbie but are met with the thought that you might be “betraying your Christian faith,” I hope in sharing my perspective, you can find freedom to check out the movie for yourself and draw your own conclusion.
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(Proof? Meeting while racing horses in the park, and two words: Pall Mall.).
The way Anthony admired Kate’s independence in a time where women were not seen as equals.
They weren’t immediately infatuated by each other. Since they weren’t officially courting, it brought their walls down and they weren’t tempted to put up a front.
The deaths of their dads, stubborn ego-driven selves, the way they took responsibility for their siblings as heads of their families.
They way they were able to address their own needs and desires for a change. (Kate: “Everything I’ve ever done…” Anthony finishes: “...is for them.”)
Nothing like a good slow-burn love story.
‘Nuff said.
Most of the world is thoroughly annoyed at Kanye “Ye” West right now, and for good reason. His social media antics have enraged his haters and fans alike. Many consider his very public interactions with estranged wife Kim Kardashian about their marriage and co-parenting as harassment and even emotionally abusive. I’m not going to sit here and discuss the merits of all his actions. Plenty of articles have already done that. Instead, I want to focus on the public’s reaction to a extremely messy, very public divorce, and in my opinion, a cry for help. Some would disagree, but I think it’s possible to pray for someone, even when you don't agree with all of his or her actions. I also think it’s possible to avoid gossiping about celebrities and pray for them instead.
On the cusp of Kanye’s conversion to Christianity, I wrote:
If we each looked back to the start of our own spiritual journeys, we’d realize that just because one fully surrenders one’s life to Jesus, doesn’t mean all their bad habits instantly disappear. Kanye is a rash, passionate person and I believe the Holy Spirit still has a lot of work to do in him. No doubt, he will make his own share of (very public) mistakes. But he needs more of us—his fellow brothers and sisters in Christ—praying for him instead of wasting our time questioning his motives.
The most recent of these mistakes are the ones I just mentioned. I’m sure there will be more. But as onlookers, where do we go from here? You and I have no choice but to engage in some way when someone of his stature chooses to be a magnet for the glaring spotlight. What do we do when the temptation is to gossip, dismiss, and even condemn?
You see, unlike the average person, celebrities will make their mistakes in the scrutiny of the public eye. Unfortunately, we treat celebrities not as mere entertainers, but as entertainment themselves. We place them under continuous scrutiny, and feel entitled to criticize their every move. Now, don’t get me wrong here. I’m not advocating that we excuse the wrong behavior of Kanye, or any other celebrity. I’m not saying there’s no room to constructively critique unbiblical and destructive behavior. I simply want to challenge fellow Christians to choose to see past the fame and glamor to the brokenness, and as a result, to extend compassion. Kanye has been through a lot over the years: a near-fatal car crash in which he broke his jaw in three places, losing his mom (his deepest human source of encouragement), having a mental illness, and now a divorce. I choose to see Kanye as a human being who goes through hardships just like you and me, not just an untouchable celebrity.
The fame cycle is intriguing: celebrities are worshiped one moment, and then become the object of ridicule the next. They live in a constant Catch-22. Placed on a pedestal, they are unable to do anything wrong. Placed under a microscope, they are unable to do anything right.
It’s not just the tabloids at fault here, but you and me: the readers, the viewers, the water-cooler discuss-ers. We somehow feel entitled to talk down on celebrities, as if they weren’t human. Too many of us think celebrities “deserve” all the backlash they receive, that “it’s part of their job.” We forget that they are fragile human beings, not unbreakable demi-gods. In reality, all celebrities are made in the image of God, and as such, deserve all the grace and compassion we all do.
A deep prayer of mine is that one day, Christians would come to view celebrities as real people who carry their own share of brokenness. Whenever a fellow Christian makes a comment that condemns or belittles a celebrity, I flinch. It stings, especially coming from the pulpit. We are quick to point out the sins and shortcomings of celebrities, yet rarely do we take the awareness of their flaws as a catalyst to pray for them.
We must examine our motives when we thoughtlessly tweet, post or otherwise share our opinion on the latest celebrity gossip. Remember: gossip is wrong, whether it’s about someone you know personally or not. As someone once said: “If you spend time praying for people instead of talking about them, you’ll get better results.”
Kanye reminds me a lot of David in the Bible. Both are public figures who committed giant mistakes in the public eye. But even after committing adultery and murder, God still chose to use David as a King. In the same way, I believe God still plans to use Kanye in a mighty way in pop culture, not because he is perfect, or the most well-behaved Christian, but because he is a broken human being desperate for God’s grace.
Eighteenth-Century Scottish Preacher Oswald Chambers said that “God gives us discernment not so we can judge, but so we can be intercessors.”
Next time we’re tempted to gossip about a celebrity like Kanye, it might be wise to ask: Am I speaking out of a genuine concern for this celebrity or with any hint of malicious intent? Am I building up this celebrity by making this comment? What if, instead of speaking about this celebrity, I lifted him or her up in prayer?
Pray that the Holy Spirit would make Himself known to Kanye as Comforter
Pray that Kanye would find his identity apart from his fans, and cling to Jesus as His main cheerleader
I can only imagine as he is going through one of his toughest times—divorce and redefining his access to his kids—that he may be missing and grieving the loss of his mother (who was his biggest supporter and human source of encouragement) even more. Pray that Kanye would seek solace in the arms of the Father and his spiritual community
Pray that Kanye would find or foster relationships with a spiritual community that would offer Him both grace AND truth
Pray that he would find a supportive team of mental health professionals (if he doesn’t already have one) to help him with his mental illness
Pray that the Holy Spirit would make Himself known to Kim in a deeper way
Pray that Kanye and Kim’s kids would not be collateral damage, but that Jesus would protect them and allow them to thrive even in the midst of a messy situation
Pray that believers would rally around Kanye in prayer, as a beloved brother in Christ
The animated musical’s “Surface Pressure” reminds us that we can’t love our neighbors if we’re mentally exhausted ourselves.
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Today’s the day. The day I was hospitalized for what would be diagnosed as Bipolar 1 Disorder, also known as manic depression.
On June 30, 2020, I was taken by ambulance to Elmhurst hospital because of a manic episode. I had been dealing with outright insomnia for about five days, but instead of feeling tired, I was high energy and honestly felt invincible and on cloud nine. At the same time, I had moments of unexplainable paranoia, and it was even hard to trust my husband Moses at times. I eventually became aggressive toward Moses and all my loved ones present, my mom, sisters and church family, who were all at my home praying for me. I became so aggressive, the paramedics had me on a stretcher, restrained, so I wouldn’t hurt myself or others.
I was at Elmhurst hospital in Queens for two days, then transferred to Gracie Hill hospital in Manhattan and stayed there for seven days to be monitored. I was released with the diagnosis of Adjustment Disorder, which is more of a one-time mental disorder brought upon by an acute stressor. You can imagine then, how it hit me like a ton of bricks at my follow-up outpatient Psychiatric appointment when the doctor told me I have Bipolar 1 Disorder.
My doctor says it was brought upon by acute stress, which in retrospect I know is a combination of COVID, worrying about my dad with the health issues he had, racial trauma, being a mom of five littles, and taking on a lot of other people’s burdens without good emotional boundaries—along with lack of self-care and not reaching out for support as much as I should have.
Right now, we are treating it with anti-psychotic meds, therapy (a gift from Jesus!) as well as holistic care like diet and supplements. I’m making so much progress that my weekly psychiatrist visits turned into every two months and my weekly therapy appointments turned to check-ins every few months.
As this anniversary hits me, there are days when I am tempted to regret or feel shame. Why didn’t I take better care of myself? Why didn’t I reach out for support instead of taking on everything by myself? But there’s so much to celebrate. A lot of growth has happened this year. I’ve learned to invest in my friendships. I’ve learned self-care in diet and exercise. I’ve learned to invest time and money in hobbies like coloring, piano, knitting, & reading. I’ve learned how ministry can be draining and how I need to recuperate via solitude. My communication with Moses has improved a hundredfold, and we’re more of a team now than ever. I’ve had to depend on Abba when nothing made sense, and it didn’t seem like there was a purpose in any of this.
I don’t have it all together. My mind needs to be renewed daily. I had a mini-breakdown with Moses the other day. As we prayed, I heard a phrase that got me bawling “Grieve normalcy.” I had been picking myself up by the bootstraps but didn’t leave room to grieve during this huge transition. I had to learn to depend on the Lord for my strength, for His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
So why am I even taking the time to write this? For one, I want to be a good steward of the testimony God has given me. It wasn’t my choice to have this story, but God chose me (John 15) so I just need to trust the process. If just one person who is silently suffering with mental illness reads this and is encouraged, it will have been worth it. If just one person gains new perspective on their loved ones who are suffering with mental illness, it will have been worth it.
The truth is, despite moments of regret and shame that may plague me at times, I am thankful. While, I don’t believe that God causes sickness, including mental illness, I believe God can redeem anything. What the enemy meant for evil, God uses for good (Genesis 50).
“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within [me], will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” Philippians 1:6 NLT
I’ll leave you with an encouraging message from a Godsend of a friend: “What I see is God fighting for you, helping you, walking with you, holding your hand, carrying you, and answering your prayers.”
None of this is easy, but if it draws me closer to my Savior, it is worth it.
What would it take for God to humble you and get your attention? For me it was ten days at the hospital in the middle of a pandemic.
Read MoreIt was somber and almost peaceful at the hospital. Don’t get me wrong, it was gut-wrenching as well, but we prayed and sang hymns until the very end. In his last moments, my mom, my sisters, and I witnessed my Dad pass from this life to the next. On September 11, I lost my father due to complications from a rare bone marrow disorder called myelofibrosis.
Read MoreWe define what Christian music is supposed to sound like. I think that's where we've got it wrong. God is not in a box. There can be a beautiful blend of what mainstream music sounds like and the authenticity of serving Jesus.
Read More“Is it really over?” I asked out loud as the credits after Black Panther rolled. Yes, I was one of those people. No, I was not mentally prepared to leave Wakanda.
For any reader who may not be familiar with Wakanda, it is a fictional place in the Marvel Universe (Non-Geek translation: the world of Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk and Spiderman). Wakanda is the only African country to be untouched by colonial influence. The film Black Panther follows King T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) and his rise to the throne of the isolated, technologically advanced African society.
Read MoreIn the latest episode of Two Geek Soup, host John Viinalass and I talk about Red Sparrow vs. Black Widow, The Avengers: The Age of Ultron, and my Wonder Woman article from earlier this year.
Read MoreI went to go see The Greatest Showman in the movie theaters twice. For a homeschooling mom of four, with kids ranging from one to five, that is no small feat. But the foot-tapping original music, themes of American ingenuity and self-love, and timeless love stories drew me in. I was mostly mesmerized by the love story of Phillip Carlyle (Zac Efron) and Anne Wheeler (Zendaya).
It’s an old-school love story and isn’t bogged down by an overemphasis on sex and infatuation. There
Read MoreThis Christmas, my husband and I have decided to forgo giving our kids Christmas presents. This is by no means a prescriptive for all families, but more of an exhortation for parents to be more attentive to the values we inadvertently pass on to our children. In a conversation with my friend and movie producer, Alyssa Plock, I answer the questions:
I've followed Taylor Swift’s career from the beginning. I’ve admired her flair for storytelling, her ability to transform the mundane details of everyday experience into profound life lessons. I’ve also admired her knack for creating an endless number of catchy melodies. Being a fellow millennial woman, I feel like I’ve gone through the awkward transition from insecure, adolescent teenager to self-assured woman right alongside her. Yet I can’t help but feel that each of our brands of womanhood are worlds apart.
Read MoreBy now, most of you have probably read my article about Patty Jenkins’ Wonder Woman film released earlier this year. You might have witnessed my blog post’s positive reception by people whom I admire deeply, like Christian author Jefferson Bethke.
Of course, like any artist, it was refreshing to receive appreciation for work that I had poured my heart and soul into. But the high of all the positive reviews was short-lived. As the criticisms rolled in, my self-esteem plummeted. Misogynistic comments, defended by out-of-context Bible verses, inundated my comments section. Several blog posts directly rebutted mine, explaining how I read unwarranted biblical meaning into shallow pop culture or how I was purposefully leading people astray by promoting a heroine that was inspired by Greek mythology.
When I clicked the “Publish” button that day, I had no idea I would gain a platform in which strangers felt they had the right--scratch that, THE GOD-GIVEN DUTY--to scrutinize not just my choice of words, but also my deeper intentions. I let the criticisms, true or not, sink deep and infect my view of myself. Soon, I also began harboring some anger towards God.
Read MoreBased on all the hype surrounding Wonder Woman (starring Gal Gadot from the Fast and the Furious franchise), I expected to feel empowered and inspired as a woman. That, I did.
I never expected, however, to be glued to my seat for over two hours, seeing one biblical truth after another being portrayed flawlessly on screen.
Read MoreDuring this season of transitioning from three to four kids I’ve felt like Philip: annoyed, maybe even angry at God that He would expect me to do something so impossible.
Read More“Papa,” my four-year-old Jeremiah interrupts as he hops into his bed, “we can’t go to bed yet, we haven’t done Advent and listened to the ‘French Horn song’.” Exhausted from a day's work, I was hoping to get by tonight without doing our typical family routine during the few weeks leading up to Christmas. However, Jeremiah has already associated this time of year with the hymn “Come Thou Long Expected Jesus”, otherwise known as the French Horn song in my household.
Read MoreIt’s currently two days before my due date for Baby #4. This pregnancy has definitely been more of a whirlwind than all my past pregnancies, what, with three preschoolers and with a new hat I put on this fall: homeschooling mom.
Here are three important lessons that I learned during the course of my fourth pregnancy.
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Welcome! I’m Marilette, a New Yorker passionate about finding the connections between God, relationships, and pop culture. I’m wife to Moses, a homeschooling mom to five young children, and a full-time missionary with FamilyLife. Since I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 in 2020, I have shared openly about my mental health journey.
I believe there is more to the Christian life than hypocrisy and more to pop culture than shallow art. I frequently contribute to ThinkChristian, an online magazine publishing pop culture commentary from a Christian worldview.
I co-founded an online apparel company to raise awareness for mental health issues in the church and communities of color.
Follow my parenting and homeschooling journey on Instagram at @bigcitybigfamily.
